From College Station...
This past week was pretty tough. Filled with lots of ups and downs. A week ago today (last Sunday) I heard about an organization on campus called Project Sunshine. Their mission is to host activities for kids with special needs, usually things they don't normally get to do. Things like a mini-prom, basketball games, carnivals, trips to the zoo, etc. As soon as I heard about it, I immediately fell in love with the idea of being a part of something like that. I went to the informational the next night and signed up for an interview 2 days later (Wednesday). The application process was fairly simple...basically I just had to answer why I wanted to be a part of the organization. My answer was truthful, stating that I believe that every child is a gift from God and is precious in His sight and should be shown the same amount of love, if not more, than a child without disabilities, and that it is our calling to show the unconditional love of Jesus to those who need it the most. I felt like my interview went very well. I was very honest in all of my answers, and the girl interviewing me seemed like she could tell this was really on my heart. After the interview, she told me to come by their cubicle on Friday morning to pick up my letter saying if I made it in or not. I left not feeling too worried about it, because surely they only denied the people who answered things like "I just want something good to put on my resume". Fast forward to Friday. I got my envelope, and I opened it as soon as I got on the bus. It was like the letters got smaller and smaller as I read...
"Thank you for applying to Project Sunshine. Unfortunately, we cannot offer you acceptance into the program at this time. Don't let this discourage you from applying next semester."
I felt like crying right then and there. I felt like screaming at God at the top of my lungs. I felt confused. Angry. Hurt. Inadequate. For the first time in a while I felt like He had really put something on my heart to be a part of. Some way I could serve Him tangibly. And then to pull it out from under me? Of course I was upset! All the questions came flooding into my head. And then they all were silenced with one voice...
"Be still and know that I am God..."
That was so hard for me to hear. I wanted to be still, but something inside of me kept talking back. It took me a few minutes, but then it all became so clear to me. My plans may not always match with God's plans. Let's be honest...my plans RARELY match with God's plans. How silly of me to think that I knew what was best, and then to blame God for not doing it my way. God revealed to me that although we may have all the right intentions of doing something, it still may not be in His timing. "No" may simply mean "not now" or "wait". I have recently been asking God to provide money for my mission trip to Alaska this summer, since I have not had the best of luck finding a job this year. Project Sunshine cost $50 to join. Who knows, maybe it's God's way of providing that extra $50 I had been asking for. On a better note, I did have a job interview on Thursday, and I will hear back about it by next week sometime. I'm really putting all my trust in God with this one, because if I don't get it, I'm really going to have to have a ton of faith to believe that He will provide a way for me to pay for this trip. Please pray about that.
I leave you with this applicable verse.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5
Saturday, January 16, 2010
It has been almost a month since I last posted and I did not think I would go this long without blogging but indeed I did. However, I am going to work on blogging more often :).
I am finally back in Denton for the semester. I went from going to Round Rock to Houston, back to Round Rock then to New Braunfels, back to Round Rock then to Denton, back to Round Rock then to Belton, back to Round Rock, then finally back to Denton all in about a month. It was a lot of traveling but very much worth it because I got to visit my mom and dad's side of the family and be a leader at Disciple Now in Belton, TX which was an incredible experience and God blessed my heart.
I am currently coaching an upward basketball team with one of my dearest friends, Jordan, and we are coaching 3rd and 4th grade girls. They are precious girls and it has been so much fun. We have had four practices and our first game was today. Although I was a tad nervous, it turned out to be a blast and I am more pumped up than ever to get back to practice. The neat thing about upward is that it is geared towards having fun and sharing the Love/Gospel of Christ and not so much the winning aspect. Therefore, they do not keep score or make many calls on fouls and things like that. The not keeping score part turned out to benefit us today because we had our lunch served to us (or however you say it) so it kept them from having low spirits. We hand out stars at the end of each game; each girl gets a star and they all represent different things like most Christlike, best offense, best defense, best effort, and sportsman ship. It was such a blessing to see how excited they got when we announced which star they got! The girls had such great attitudes throughout the whole game and I know they are going to have a fantastic season!!
School starts back up on Tuesday and although I am not so excited for the 'school' part I am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things...I will feel more productive since I have spent the last few days hanging out, sleeping in, and watching too much television.
I hope everyone has a blessed week!!